My Brain in Survival Mode

Imagine this: You’re deep in the woods, and suddenly, a bear appears. Your heart pounds, breath shortens, muscles tense—you’re in full fight-or-flight mode. This is your brain and body doing exactly what they’ve evolved to do: keep you alive. But what happens when that bear is just your inbox, a social interaction, or the thought of making a mistake?

That’s anxiety.

Survival Mode in Everyday Life

When we perceive a threat, the amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—activates and signals the hypothalamus — the body’s control center for bodily functions — to launch the body’s stress response. Hormones like adrenaline and cortisol surge, sharpening our senses and fueling our muscles (LeDoux, 2000).

The problem? Modern threats aren’t physical—they’re psychological. But the brain doesn’t always know the difference between physical danger and emotional discomfort. So whether you’re facing a charging bear or an angry email, your body may respond in the same way: tension, racing heart, tunnel vision. Your body reacts as if you’re running for your life.

This is where the prefrontal cortex — executive hub for complex decision making — comes in. It helps us assess whether the threat is truly dangerous, and how best to respond. It also sends calming signals back to the amygdala, helping us regulate emotion and choose a more thoughtful course of action (Banks et al., 2007).

This feedback loop—between the amygdala’s emotional alarm and the prefrontal cortex’s reasoning power—is what allows us to move from automatic reaction to intentional response.

When this loop is weak or overwhelmed, anxiety takes over. We overreact, withdraw, avoid, or lash out—behaviors that often cause more harm than good.

Chronic Stress = System Overload

When anxiety becomes chronic, your body is constantly flooded with stress hormones. Over time, this can lead to:

• Fatigue and insomnia

• Irritability and low mood

• Digestive issues

• Weakened immune response
  (McEwen, 1998)
  

And psychologically, anxiety narrows your focus and hijacks your decision-making. It can make you avoid challenges, second-guess yourself, and miss out on opportunities (Bishop et al., 2004).

Why Running Away Makes it Worse

It’s natural to want to avoid discomfort. But here’s the paradox: the more we run away from what we fear, the more powerful that fear becomes. We become exhausted, emotionally and physically drained for constantly running from the “bear”. Our body eventually starts signalling that we can no longer keep running at this pace and we start seeing physical signs: You may feel constantly tired, even after rest. Motivation fades. You start to feel numb or detached from your work or the people around you. Small tasks feel overwhelming, and irritability or cynicism often take hold.

If this continues, depression can follow. Emotionally, this might show up as persistent sadness, hopelessness, a loss of interest in activities that once brought you joy, or difficulty connecting with others. People often describe feeling like they’re moving through fog, unable to find direction, energy, or even a sense of who they are.

In the midst of this, some may experience “hitting a psychological wall”. You might feel like you can’t function, cry uncontrollably, withdraw from responsibilities, or feel emotionally paralyzed.

These aren’t signs of weakness—they’re signs that your mind and body are overwhelmed from being in survival mode for too long.

Signs to look for:

• Physical: chronic fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, frequent illness, insomnia or oversleeping.

• Emotional: irritability, numbness, sadness, hopelessness, guilt, emotional reactivity or withdrawal.

• Cognitive/Behavioral: difficulty concentrating, memory problems, procrastination, avoiding social contact, feeling unmotivated or like a failure.

Just like running from a bear endlessly, if you don’t stop and assess what’s happening, you’ll eventually collapse—not because you're weak, but because no one can run forever.

In chronic stress, the amygdala becomes overactive while the prefrontal cortex gets overwhelmed or “hijacked,” making it harder to regulate emotions, make decisions, or shift perspectives. It creates a feedback loop: the more anxious and depleted you feel, the harder it becomes to step out of it—unless you intentionally interrupt the cycle.

Avoiding difficult tasks, people, or emotions might bring short-term relief—but in the long term, it fuels a vicious cycle. We reinforce the belief that we can’t cope, which erodes confidence, increases anxiety, and makes it even harder to face challenges next time.

Eventually, we often end up right where we didn’t want to be—disconnected, unfulfilled, or overwhelmed. The “bear” we’ve been running from? It’s still there.

Run Toward What Matters

Recovery begins with recognizing that you’re not meant to be in fight-or-flight mode forever. Here’s the shift: Instead of running away from discomfort, move toward what matters.

When your actions are driven by fear, avoidance, or perfectionism, it’s easy to burn out. But when you act from values, connection, and purpose—even in small ways—you rewire your brain toward safety and resilience.

Research in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) shows that psychological flexibility—the ability to tolerate difficult thoughts and feelings while staying connected to your values—is key to long-term wellbeing (Hayes et al., 2006).

When we act in line with our values, we rebuild trust in ourselves. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

For example:

• You give the presentation because growth matters more than comfort.

• You set a boundary because self-respect matters more than avoiding conflict.

• You apply for the job because giving yourself a chance matters more than fear of rejection.

More Evidence-Based Strategies to Regulate Anxiety

Running towards what matters is a nice concept, but it’s often easier said than done. So how can we calm the survival system enough to eventually be able to stop running away and start running towards? How can I practice responding adaptively in ways that are more accessible?

1. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

Practicing mindfulness — the practice of intentionally focusing your attention on the present moment, without judgment — strengthens the prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate the amygdala. Research shows that MBSR can significantly reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation (Hölzel et al., 2011). It involves observing your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they arise, without getting overwhelmed or trying to change them or resist them. Essentially, it's about being fully present and aware of your current experience, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. 

Mindfulness can :

• enhance your ability to concentrate and stay on task. 

• help you develop a greater awareness of your emotions and learn to respond to them more effectively. 

• deepen your understanding of your thoughts, feelings, and body. 

Try this: Spend five minutes a day simply noticing your thoughts and feelings—without labeling them as good or bad, right or wrong. You can sit quietly and focus on your breath, body, or sounds/surroundings, chosing to return your attention to the chosen focus when your mind wanders and practice letting go of the thoughts that burden you.

2. Letting Go

Stoic philosophy:

Stoicism, as taught by Epictetus, suggests that true happiness and freedom come from focusing on what we can control and accepting what we cannot. 

Being able to accept to "control what you can control" and let go of the rest, emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between what is within our control (our thoughts, actions, attitudes) and what is not (external events, other people's actions, the past, the future). 

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Reframe the Story

CBT helps challenge cognitive distortions and reduce overestimation of threat. Studies show it’s highly effective for generalized anxiety and panic disorders. When you reframe, you're activating your prefrontal cortex rather than reacting from fear (Hofmann et al., 2012).

Try this: Next time you feel anxious, ask yourself: “Is this a real threat—or a story I’m telling myself? What else could be true about this situation?”

4. Grounding and Body Awareness

Your body can send calming signals back to the brain. Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or even splashing cold water on your face activate the parasympathetic nervous system (Porges, 2011).

Try this:

• Physical grounding: Feeling your feet on the floor, touching a textured object, or holding a piece of ice. 

• Sensory grounding: Listening to calming music, smelling a pleasant scent, or tasting a strong flavor like sour candy. 

• Mental grounding: Describing your surroundings in detail, naming objects around you, or counting backwards from 100. 

• Emotional grounding: Remembering a safe place or person, using positive affirmations, or focusing on your breath. 

• Connecting with nature: Walking barefoot on grass, lying in the sand, going for a walk, feeling the ray’s of sunshine on your skin.

5. Self-Compassion

Fear is natural—and so is struggling with anxiety. Developing self-compassion lowers internal criticism and reduces physiological stress (Neff & Germer, 2013).

Try this: Instead of “What’s wrong with me?”, ask “What do I need right now?”

Self-compassion doesn't mean ignoring flaws or fears, but rather acknowledging them without harsh judgment. 

• Normalizing the experience

• Offer yourself support and words of encouragement and understanding (just like you would treat a good friend).

• Focusing on learning and growing

• Use positive affirmations — “"What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?" (Erin Hanson)

6. Name What You Feel

Labeling what you feel (“I’m anxious” or “I feel overwhelmed”) activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces amygdala reactivity (Lieberman et al., 2007). This is called “name it to tame it.”

Try this: Pause and name the emotion silently when you notice anxiety rising.

7. Clarify Your Values

Knowing what you care about helps you act with purpose, even when you’re scared.

Try: Ask yourself, “What kind of person do I want to be in this moment?” Then act in line with that answer—even in a small way.

8. Rest and boundaries

Your nervous system needs time and safety to recover—this means rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a biological necessity.

Rest is not a reward you earn by being productive—it’s a biological requirement. When your nervous system is constantly activated by stress, pressure, or emotional overload, it doesn’t have the space it needs to return to a regulated, balanced state. Without adequate rest, your body remains in a chronic state of alert, which over time contributes to burnout, anxiety, and depression.

Rest isn't just sleep (although that’s crucial too)—it includes moments of mental stillness, emotional relief, and physical calm throughout your day. This might look like taking regular breaks, allowing yourself to do nothing, or engaging in low-stimulation activities like walking, journaling, or just breathing deeply. Disclaimer: this only works if you let yourself rest without feeling guilty or self-criticizing. And that in itself is a big challenge.

Boundaries are how you create the conditions for rest. They are clear limits you set to protect your time, energy, and mental health. Boundaries help prevent overstimulation, people-pleasing, and emotional depletion by allowing you to say no to what overwhelms you and yes to what restores you.

Try this: If you feel guilty saying no to extra work or canceling plans when you're drained, remind yourself: Your body and mind are systems, not machines. Downtime isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for functioning well.

Why This Matters

Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your brain is trying to protect you. But when the threat is not life-or-death, the same survival system can limit you. Your brain was designed to keep you safe, not happy. But by understanding your biology and using evidence-based tools, you can learn to shift out of survival mode and into presence, clarity, and confidence.

You can’t control every anxious thought—but you can change how you respond to them.

The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to understand it, regulate it, and choose your response.

By shifting from running away from discomfort to running toward what matters, you break the cycle. You create a life that’s less about avoiding fear—and more about building confidence, meaning, and forward momentum.

This feedback loop is not just about surviving—it’s about living well. In daily interactions—at work, with partners, in parenting—we constantly face small “bears”: disagreement, uncertainty, rejection. When we respond impulsively, we reinforce cycles of anxiety and disconnection.

But when we understand what's happening in our brain, we can pause, reflect, and choose our response. This is what separates reaction from intention, fear from growth, survival from wellbeing.

References:

- Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648

- Banks, S. J., Eddy, K. T., Angstadt, M., Nathan, P. J., & Phan, K. L. (2007). Amygdala–frontal connectivity during emotion regulation. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 2(4), 303–312. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsm029

- Bishop, S. R., Lau, M., Shapiro, S., Carlson, L., Anderson, N. D., Carmody, J., ... & Devins, G. (2004). Mindfulness: A proposed operational definition. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 11(3), 230–241. https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.bph077

- Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1–25. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2005.06.006

- Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427–440. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1

- Hölzel, B. K., Lazar, S. W., Gard, T., Schuman-Olivier, Z., Vago, D. R., & Ott, U. (2011). How does mindfulness meditation work? Proposing mechanisms of action from a conceptual and neural perspective. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(6), 537–559. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691611419671

- LeDoux, J. E. (2000). Emotion circuits in the brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 23(1), 155–184. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.neuro.23.1.155

- Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x

- Lupien, S. (2012). Well stressed: How you can manage stress before it turns toxic. John Wiley & Sons

- McEwen, B. S. (1998). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(3), 171–179. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJM199801153380307

- Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self‐compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923

- Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.